Mornings With Beth Behrs
In the series ‘Mornings With’, we begin a new day with inspiring talent in film, television and media. ROSE & IVY founding editor, Alison Engstrom sits down and chats about morning routines, exciting projects and what inspires them and drives them to be their very best.
I am very excited about this edition of ‘Mornings With’ because I am talking to Beth Behrs, who you know and love from shows like 2 Broke Girls and The Neighborhood. Beth is an absolute gem of a human, who I could have talked to for hours about flowers, nature and gardening. In taking this series from in-person to video, I was excited to chat with her about her morning routine, which includes spending time in nature and Transcendental Meditation. She speaks honestly about how 2 Broke Girls changed her life, how she learned to listen to her body and to cultivate her most authentic self. She also opens up about managing her anxiety, cultivating gratitude and balancing perfectionism as an artist. Plus, she talks about the poignant message of The Neighborhood, which was just renewed for a third season, and how it covers the subject of race with love, kindness and community.
*Note: I had this conversation with Beth before the world rallied together to demand change for the racial injustices in America.
BETH BEHRS
Actress, Currently Starring in The Neighborhood on CBS
Photography by Bri Cimino
Before we begin, how are you doing during this time period? I’ve seen on Instagram that you have been doing things that are good for the soul like pressing flowers, planting trees, driving tractors and playing the banjo.
So for like five or six years, I have had this dream of starting a flower garden but you know it takes time and research and I always thought I was a brown thumb and killed everything I owed. On the second day of quarantine, I got one pot of flowers and now it has exploded on my deck. Gardening became my spiritual practice and meditation because it was bringing me so much calm and joy during this time. I actually started making some homemade terracotta pots with plants and delivering them with notes and pressed flowers for my elderly neighbors and delivery workers as a way to brighten their day. That turned into really taking some college-level classes on Kiss the Ground on regenerative gardening and regenerative agriculture and how we can help reverse climate change, which was really interesting to me. I was learning the difference between sustainability, which is slowing down climate change but then also things like soil regeneration, which takes the extra carbon from the atmosphere and puts it into our plants and our food. I got super excited about that and then I started volunteering at a regenerative farm, you know wearing a mask, socially distancing and planting things. I think for me, giving back is my way of dealing with this. Other than giving monetarily to the food banks and things like that, it’s important for me to have my hands in the earth. I am not sure if you have been feeling this too, but I have been feeling so much more connected to nature and I have always loved nature. Hiking every morning has always been a staple of my routine. Living during this makes you think and reflect about how we are all connected by nature and the universe.
I also finished the book Braiding Sweetgrass, the first week in quarantine. I had been wanting to read it for years and if you love plants, like the way that I do, I think you will love that book. She is an indigenous woman, who is a biologist and conservationist in Upstate New York. You will never look at a strawberry or maple tree without having this personal connection. She talks a lot about honorable harvesting, which I love. We have a lemon tree and now I always give something to the tree before I take a lemon. She says you can give it fresh tobacco. It’s just a little offering to say, thank you. My husband is cracking up at me, he’ll say go get some lemons for margaritas and I’ll be like, is it okay if I take a lemon? We are going to make margaritas and then I wait until I think it's okay. The philosophy behind this is as humans, we have this habit of taking and taking without having a relationship to the earth and the things that give us sustenance are another quarantine life lesson.
I hike almost every morning before I get to set, that's my thing that I do, and obviously they had to close because they were getting over-crowded but losing that I realized how grateful I am for that piece of my mornings. There is so much gratitude happening. It’s interesting and I don’t know if you have found this but at the beginning of quarantine I was binging TV and all of these shows that I have been wanting to catch up on but recently I haven't watched TV at all, I have been reading, listening to records; speaking of slowing down there is also this disconnect from technology as this goes on more, which I am truly loving. I’m learning the banjo, I’m really grateful. It’s a sad time, it’s uncertain times and we are having to deal with uncertainty like we never have before but there will eventually be a gift of facing this uncertainty and finding ways to cope, whether that is gratitude for family; hopefully as a society we will come out a little bit more kind, compassionate and empathetic.
So It seems like you are a morning person?
Yes, 100 million percent, which is hilarious because my husband is such a night owl. I am up sometimes, when I am working, at 5:30 or 6; in quarantine, it’s been 6 or 6:30. I love tea, I meditate, now I am doing my meditation on my garden deck, watering my plants and then I go on a hike.
What type of tea do you Drink?
I have always loved black tea ever since I was a little girl; my mom loves tea and we were always a tea family. Recently, I just discovered these amazing tea crystals, it’s called Pique Tea—they have a fermented green tea and a jasmine green tea that I have fallen madly in love with, it’s all for health. I am not as well-versed on telling you what the fermentation process is but there are no chemicals. It’s the purest form of tea you can have. I never really loved green tea before but this I love. There is something about the way my body has been feeling.
What type of meditation do you do?
Before I check my phone I meditate, usually outside if the weather is nice, but it’s LA so it usually is (laughs). The first type of meditation that I learned was Transcendental Meditation so that is a staple. I’ve done that before every show of 2 Broke Girls and now every show of The Neighborhood. I never miss doing a 20 minute TM meditation beforehand. Recently, I have gotten into a different type of meditation called Yoga Nidra, which is sleep meditation, so for my second meditation of the day, I’ll do that. Deepak and Oprah right now have a free course that is mantra-based, which is similar to TM. I love it because they do this 10-minute lecture about a theme of the day beforehand, so I have been making my tea and listening to the pre-lecture and then sitting and doing the actual meditation.
When you were little, what did you daydream about becoming when you grew up? I’ve heard you wax poetic about Julie Andrews—a woman after my own heart.
Pretty much, Julie Andrews. My parents told me because I don’t remember, but when I was three or four years old, I was acting out the part of the movie, on the stairs, when the kids sang So Long Farewell. When I was four or five, my parents let me audition for community theater and they were like this kid is weird, she is acting out (laughs).
As a huge fan of ‘2 Broke Girls’, I didn’t know that you were living that life before landing the role as witty and hilarious Caroline Channing in 2011. Can you share more about your life before, because it kind of changed your life right?
Beyond kind of, overnight almost. I had been acting my whole life before 2 Broke Girls, so it was 24 years before I got the job. I was sharing a one-bedroom apartment working, seven days a week; I was bartending at a theater and I was also a nanny at the time. I had been auditioning, I had an agent since college so I had done parts here and there, mostly guest parts and a few small movies, but this was obviously my first huge thing. At my screen test, Michael Patrick King hugged me and he had asked me to buy high heels, I had worn cowboy boots into all of my Caroline Channing auditions before, which is hilarious because she never would have worn cowboy boots. He was so sweet, he called me before the screen test for the network and asked, do you own a pair of heels? You have to look like Caroline Channing. You know I was paycheck to paycheck, barely had enough gas to get to work, like a total broke girl, so I put it all on a credit card, but I kept all of the tags on so when he hugged me, he asked me, do you have tags on your clothes? (laughs). When I got the part, I kept them so I didn’t have to return them. But it changed my whole life. I call it my grad school because between Michael Patrick King, Kat Dennings and Jimmy Burrows who directed it—he did Friends, Taxi, you name it. I say it was my master’s degree in comedy and acting. I remember saying to my then-boyfriend, who is now my husband, when I got the pilot script audition, I said, I love this role so much, this girl, I just know I could play her. But I am never going to get this part, it’s a lead on a big CBS show but I am going to go in and do my best. My husband said that’s exactly what John Hamm said before he got the role on Mad Men and he got Mad Men. It was a pretty cool moment in time to love something so much and to actually get the part, wow!
Did you ever feel uncomfortable, like this is too good to be true, or ask yourself, who am I, as you were adjusting to this new world?
All of those things. I’m like you, I have had anxiety my whole life; I never had anxiety performing in front of a live audience or as Caroline Channing, but off-camera. It was different for me because Kat had already been a movie star and for me, money-wise, I couldn't afford a red carpet stylist or anything; I have no problem with it but I was wearing Forever 21, but I felt like I looked different than other girls my age who did red carpets and were leads on television shows. Now as a 30-something-year-old woman and I had time to reflect, I loved that about that time because I think there was something authentic about owning this is who I am and this is reality. My heart and my soul are not what I am wearing on the red carpet.
At that time on television our lead in was when Ashton Kutcher took over for Charlie Sheen on Two and A Half Men and I remember my agent calling me after the pilot aired and I was like, how are the numbers and he said, these numbers, you won’t even have in the biggest movie, it was like 25 million households tuned in. It was something so crazy because you won't find that on TV now because there is streaming and so many cable shows. But back then, it hit in a way that Kat and I exploded overnight into a different world. I am so grateful for when you look back now because how crazy, it’s every actor's dream to have that happen. I miss her and recently I am regretting that we didn't get a proper ending to the show because it was such a shock, we all thought we were coming back. We didn’t say goodbye. I was watching the Schitt's Creek finale and my husband was like, why are you still crying after it ended and I was like, I knew those actors got the proper goodbye to those characters that they loved for that many years and Kat and I did not. I think when it first happened, I was just scared, I didn’t have a job anymore and what was I going to do next? I missed the camaraderie of 2 Broke Girls but I didn't really mourn Caroline or getting closure, but now looking back I am really sad that her and I—for the fans and the writers—we didn't get to end it the way we could have if we knew it was going to end.
Working towards your dreams isn’t easy and you’ve talked about how your body had a bad reaction. Do you think that all those years of stress caught up with you when you were trying to pursue your dreams?
What happened was a few years into 2 Broke Girls, I got this crazy skin rash all over my body. It took us seven months of me going to different doctors to realize that the rash was being caused by deep-rooted stress. I was tested for psoriasis and any sort of dermatological disorder and it was negative. Finally, a doctor did acupuncture on my ear and basically told me to change my diet, that was also when meditation really became part of my life. I was in my early 20s and I’m set eating mac and cheese and donuts—I was always a tiny frame girl. Those first few years, we were filming sometimes until 2 or 3 o’clock in the morning. Kat and I had so much dialogue and between the two of us, my weekends were spent learning it. We went three weeks on, one week off; those three weeks were without a break and then we would just crash. When I would have these weeks off, I would go out to dinner with friends and I would have wine, and I hadn’t had wine for a while, and my body was acting weird to alcohol. Anyways, the moral of the story was that I just learned how to deal with stress better and I learned meditation and diet—I mean you can have donuts, but just not two a day every day. I discovered smoothies, I am not a veggie person I wish I was; I recently had some zucchini, it’s not usually what I like but I was able to tolerate it (laughs). It was from the farm and it was fresh. Smoothies are now my staple, I will have two a day and I am packing them with vegetables.
I think it was also the lifestyle change too, people knew who I was and I was used to being very private. There was also the pressure of just doing big talk shows and having to be myself and not hide behind a character. As you know in our 20s, you are still finding who you are as a woman and as a human and to go through that overnight and in the public eye was hard. I will say though that my best friends since college are still my circle of friends, obviously, I have the Kat Dennings of the world and people from the industry who have come into my circle. My core group hasn't changed and I think that has been super important for me. And my husband, we were dating before 2 Broke Girls, he has sort of been my rock. I had Kat and Christina Hendricks who had been through the Mad Men rush; they took my hand and were my ally, as far as dealing with the entertainment world and with all the stress of it and how to navigate that.
Do you ever feel like you are really getting to know your authentic self, free of ego or checked boxes of success, like ‘this is what I am supposed to be doing? It’s like no, what does my heart want to be doing? What am I giving to the world? What’s my purpose? We are all different. One of my dear friends, Lacy Phillips, has this amazing program called To Be Magnetic. I have been doing a lot of her work, which are these deep imagining meditations. It’s based on neuroscience manifestation work. I’ve been doing it now for three years and I have become so close with her, I think she is going to be the next Eckhart Tolle or Oprah. But what we are talking about, finding the root of your authentic path in life and finding how to navigate that with boundaries and self-care—not a face mask or self-care in a bathtub, but rather inner rooted taking care of ourselves, especially as women. Every person also needs to read Untamed—I love Glennon Doyle. She just had this beautiful 15-minute talk on Instagram about self-care as women and how it should be internal self-care. I was thinking about it because of the To Be Magnetic Work that is a great way of internal self-care because you are realizing what your authentic path is in life and how to connect to a deeper meaning. I think that inner work eventually becomes part of the outer work. One thing I love that Lacy talks a lot about too is the analogy, of when you are on an airplane and they say put your mask on first and then your child or whoever you are helping. I love that metaphor for internal self-care. It’s like, if I take care of myself first, then I am going to be able to help my family, if I have children or my job—that will sort of span out and help everything. You can show up and be the most authentic version, which I believe, we are all here to have a purpose. We all have different gifts and how can we give those gifts to the world?
Through all of your self-care and techniques has that been able to help with your anxiety? I’ve heard you talk about the power of equine therapy.
Thank God for 2 Broke Girls, it was because of Chestnut, the horse on the show. I would notice when he was on set. He was so calm; there was something so spiritual and majestic about looking into his eyes. I became really good friends with the trainer and then Whitney Cummings had this friend who did equine therapy, her name is Cassandra Ogier, within six months of working with her, I rescued a horse of my own. I think we all are feeling anxious now even though I am meditating, exercising and gardening, I still have days where I feel panic and like I can’t breathe. I think we all are. It’s uncertain times, we have never experienced it in our lifetime—we are in a global pandemic. The practice of gratitude too, like when you start feeling those panic feelings to go back and say I am so lucky for this and this and this and it grounds you back into your body. That’s one thing about horses is that they are so healing because being around them you have to be in your body. They won’t respond if you are not—they are prey animals so they are so intuned. A mountain lion can be a mile away and they can feel that energy, so if you are living in anxiety or very fearful but trying not to be fearful they are going to see through your bullshit right away. They can read that and so learning how to communicate with my horse in a way that we can understand each other in this partnership has forced me to come into my body and into my authentic feelings, no matter where I am that day. With anxiety right now, to know that it is okay to feel it and not push it down no matter if you are a healthcare worker on the front lines or doing the incredible work in the food bank. I cannot imagine the amount of stress going on in those fields and my level of anxiety is so different from what they are experiencing but being able to feel that fully and know that it is okay. One thing that Glennon talks about in her book is we are allowed to feel and not suppress it. I say, you got to feel it to heal it.
When did you start to feel relaxed in your career?
Never! (laughs) I mean I am sort of kidding! This career is so much more to me than just a career. It’s what I have been doing since I was a little girl. I know it is what my purpose is. I want to be 85 years old and on a set, even if I have three lines, just as long as I am contributing and with an ensemble of great artists. I would love to someday express myself musically. I just don’t sing as much as I used to but I am playing the banjo and exploring that. I can still write music and poems. I will not survive without some creative outlet.
What have you learned about yourself since you have achieved success? (45:20)
I have learned how important the people around you are. I am so grateful for my family, my husband, and my friends. During this pandemic we lost my grandma, she was the matriarch, it was so hard because I had to say goodbye to her on Facetime. I learned a lot from that too. I think in success, grief, and this global pandemic, I’m realizing just how important time and relationships with the people I love are. No matter if you win an Oscar or you do great commercials for the rest of your life, it doesn’t matter. It’s the people around you and what you believe in and where your heart is that is the most important. (46:14)
What would you say is one of the most important lessons that you learned?
As a lifelong perfectionist, but also wanting to be an artist, there has been a lot of conflict for me personally between the two in the sense that I really struggle to feel enough and that I am worthy of these opportunities that I am given and that I am good enough. Can I get to set and be the actor that I want to be? I’d like to say that I have healed that I am just an artist and I know that I am enough when I come to work, but I am not there yet. I still feel a lot of days I am not good enough to be given these incredible opportunities that I have had. The lesson that I have learned in that is to be in the moment that’s one thing that helps me through that perfectionist voice of ‘that joke didn’t land the way I wanted it to, how can I work it and to just be able to go back to my breath and in the present moment and look at Max Greenfield or Tichina Arnold and listen to what they are saying and come back to the present moment. I think for me that has been a lesson and a constant struggle; it might be a lifelong lesson and struggle. I think with more internal self-care, it nurtures and tends to that. The more you give to that part of yourself, the easier the access in those moments of perfectionism or thoughts of I am not good enough.
Congratulations, The Neighborhood has been picked up for a third season. The show is hilarious but also touches on some deeper subject matter. What was it about the script that hooked you?
I am so happy, we were all waiting, praying and hoping. Before I shot a pilot with Lee Daniels but it didn’t end up happening; I was bummed about it, but Max Greenfield called me and said he was doing this show they had to recast with Tichina Arnold and Cedric the Entertainer and they had already filmed the pilot. He said, watch this pilot. I was thinking I would do something different than a sitcom, I wasn’t sure that I wanted to go back to that, but as soon as I saw the pilot, I saw the insane level of talent, Marcel Spears, Sheaun McKinney, they are both theater kids who I was huge fans of. I had worked with Cedric on 2 Broke Girls and I knew how talented and kind he was and Max I worked with on a movie. When I saw that last scene with Sheaun and the actor they had at the time talking about what it means to be African American and how that might look different than what it means to be white. The way we were going to bring that to the forefront with laughter but also sensitivity and really dealing with some pretty major issues in a way that promoted love, kindness and community was something that was super important to me about the show. That’s what sold me and then the incredible performances by everyone—you can’t say no to that. The way that the writers are tackling these particular issues right now through laughter and being extremely smart and sensitive. It’s about togetherness not separateness is what drew me to the show and why I love it.
You seem to have so many passions, I’d love to know, how do you stay curious?
Reading, I read all of the time, I like non-fiction, but right now before bed, I am re-reading The Secret Garden. I also stay curious by pursuing interests. I think as an actor, it’s really important to have outside interests and being a connoisseur of everything in the world, in order to be the best artist you can be, so staying curious is part of my job.
Mentioned In Our Conversation:
Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer
To Be Magnetic Work with Lacy Phillips
Equine Therapy and She Herd Power
Follow Beth on Instagram
Tune into ‘The Neighborhood’ Mondays at 8PM EST on CBS
The text portion of this interview was edited for clarity