In the Sun With Elle Lorraine
Elle Lorraine, who you can catch in Hulu’s new horror/thriller film Bad Hair, talks about being seen, showing others what she’s capable of and being authentically herself along the way.
Photography & Interview by Alison Engstrom
I’d love to start at the beginning! Was there a moment for you when you realized you were called to perform?
Yes and no—I grew up doing church plays so that was always a part of my life. When I was in middle school, I was trying to figure out where I would apply to go to high school. In Houston there is a school called the High School for Performance and Visual Arts, it’s a really small and it’s hard to get in. My aunt raised me and she had actually gone there for ballet—she was a ballerina growing up. I knew of the school and I knew that I didn’t want to dance anymore but I loved acting so I started working on my audition pieces and through that I was reading plays and falling in love with plays. By the time my audition came up, I started to get really excited about it and started to take it very seriously, at the age of 13. I auditioned, got a call back and then got in. Once I started to be exposed to the world of theater and the training of it, I literally fell in love. Within that first year, I was like, this is it, this is what I am doing for the rest of my life.
I love asking this question because when you are younger, you can love something but might not have the longevity or will to turn it into your career, especially acting, because it’s a hard field. Did you ever question it?
Once I fell in love with it, I decided that this was my future. I am one of those people who can wear blinders and when I wear them there is nothing else going on. There is no potential for something else. When I decided it, I decided it. That same year I was like, I am moving to LA, I’ll pursue this because I want to do film and TV. I made that hard decision and I stuck with it because I genuinely love what I do. Now along the way, there have been so many times when I was not working and would ask myself, can I really pay my bills with this? Is it a pipe dream? I have had those moments of doubt and questioning but I decided I have to stick with it.
How did you persevere in those moments of doubt and asked yourself if the struggle was worth it? Or did you always have your eyes on the prize and know that one day you would be successful?
I did, but I didn’t know what it would take to be successful. Growing up, there are those stories of you graduate from college, move to LA—I did get an apartment a month before I moved out there because I thought I needed an apartment and I didn’t want them all to be gone (laughs). I thought you get an agent, then a manager, you audition and if you are talented people are going to see it and give you a job. It doesn’t work like that. I got the agent pretty quickly, I produced a showcase with some friends and we invited about 100 agents and managers and only six showed up. I figured then I was halfway there and things were going to fall into place. But after that it was even a struggle to get the auditions, to be seen and get into the room, that was a struggle for a while. Once I started getting in the room, it was about being talented but it’s about so much more than that; it’s about what your resume says and it’s about who you know and the names you have worked with. I was learning the game while I was in it and that’s a hard way to learn the game.
I kept doing plays in LA because I love theater and to keep that muscle going; I loved it but I wasn’t getting a break. At one point my best friend and I, Dime Davis, who is a writer and director—she’s actually nominated for two Emmys this year (I like to gloat about her)—we were roommates at the time and we both weren’t getting jobs so we decided to start creating our own material—this was years ago. We wrote an hour long pilot and decided to pitch it. We did that and we were getting great feedback from it, but some of the people were like, I don’t think a black girl would have this life. She could be the friend but not the lead. That really broke our hearts because two black women created it as a vehicle for ourselves. We ended up producing it; it was an hour long project and we never put it out but we worked so much but by the time were finished, we both realized that we had grown so much and this wasn’t the project. So we started just creating and producing and along the way, we just got better and we ended up creating a production company. She ended up doing the AFI Program at DDW, which is Directing Workshop for Women, that’s for women already in the industry. You produce a small film and they showcase it to their network of people. We did a piece for that—she wrote and directed it and I produced and starred in it—and with that project we began to garner a lot of attention. It started to change our lives, literally right then and from there doors started to open up.
Going back to the initial comments from those people who said that you wouldn’t play in something that you wrote, talk about close mindedness and racial bias. How have you navigated that in the industry?
It’s hard and there have been times when I am knocked down, I cry and I feel the pain. But then I just have to create my own future. It’s the way that both of us think. There is only so long that I will allow myself to be knocked down. No matter what that person sees in me, I can be it. That’s been a motto and a way of thinking that I have had since I was a child. It’s been beneficial for me in this tricky industry. Every time I run into that it’s not like, I will show you, in a vengeful way, but like don’t worry, you’ll see. I take that and use it as fuel. Most times people don’t know things unless you show them. That was a few years ago, but now we are in this wonderful space where there are so many projects from people of color being produced and shown to the world and are successful.
Now to talk about Your latest project, Bad HaiR, which is a satirical horror film with an awesome cast from Vanessa Williams, Kelly Rowland and Usher. What intrigued you most about the role of Anna Bludso?
First off, she was such a multifaceted character, with all of her intricacies and the journey she was on. I love character, theater and Justin (Simien); he has a vision like no other. When I read it, I had never seen this type of person before—not only had I not seen this character before, but I had not seen her in this world on a body that looked like mine. I was intrigued and I knew I had something to offer. I wanted to push myself and make the world fall in love with her. I also knew so many people were going up for this role; I was intimidated by the names. I said I would bring it and who knows, maybe they would want a fresh face? Once Justin started casting he told me people who he had already booked and I was like, oh gosh, okay, not only did I want to do this, but I had to do it! (laughs). As I said, I have blinders so my mind was in it, I was living in that 80s world. I got to go to the studio when Kelly (Rowland) was recording, which was so cool. I was only watching movies that inspired Justin. Once we were on set, it was all about the work, we had fun but after we wrapped I told Kelly, I am obsessed with with you! I hope you know that!
That’s so awesome! One of the themes in the film is about finding your identity in a world that wants you to be like someone else. What else do you hope that viewers ultimately take away from it?
A lot of people have reached out; I think it parallels with the entertainment industry in general and the space we are in. Even though it’s changing there are so many similarities to the struggle and the journey right now. One of the things I love about this piece is that first, it’s very layered and there are so many messages you can take away from the film, but one of my personal favorites is that you don’t have to compromise yourself along the way. She had the good and people weren’t seeing her and once they could see her, there was nothing they could take away; there was no denying her. I think that’s a struggle that I have gone through and trying to be seen in this industry. It’s a really amazing space to be in for people to see me as more than there imagination may have let them see before.
When doing my research, I found it shocking that there are still 43 states where employers and schools can discriminate on the basis of hair.
It is crazy; I am not sure if you have ever seen those stories on Facebook about teachers or principal who have cut off kid’s locks and they go home and their parents are like, are you kidding me? It’s technically an assault and it’s legal. There is still so much work that has to be done in this country to make equality and intentional progression. I think sometimes it’s easy to think, well I think this way and of course the rest of the world thinks this way. Many times we don’t realize that laws have been set up to cage people in or discriminate intentionally against who they are without them being able to have say in it.
I love talking about authenticity. I’d love to know how you’ve managed to stay true to yourself as your career has blossomed?
That’s such an interesting questions, I don’t think I can help but be myself (laughs). I am a little older and I am comfortable in my skin. I have great friends around me who know me and support me and allow me to be myself. On top of that I think my focus isn't myself on the outside; that’s probably the truest answer. I am not so interested in appearing a certain way or fitting in. The inside work is really important to me and I’m such an humanitarian in how I think, so I would love to be able to use my opportunities to help the world. It’s bigger than me, I feel so lucky. I just did an interview where the interviewer said, you know little black girls are going to be looking at you right now and be inspired. You could change something small in them when they see someone who looks like them on camera. And I was like, wow, I never stopped to think about that. Growing up, the Whoopi Goldbergs, the Vanessa Williams or the Kerry Washingtons of the world spoke to me on a conscious and unconscious level and gave me more permission to be who I am and to go after my dreams hard.
Given that 2020 has been a trying year for so many, as we come close to its ending, when you look back, what have you learned about yourself?
I am learning that the process is a process; I just have to trust the journey. Be prepared for the things that come up but I can’t create my tomorrow, there are somethings that are just out of my hands. When I show up as the best version of who I am, or even the shittiest version of who I am at times, I have to trust that it will all work out. That could mean if I am driving and I see someone in need and I am having a really hard day, sharing myself with someone or giving has been helpful at times like that. Even with my family of them living in fear, which is very stifling to me, my mental and physical health but trusting they are doing what’s best for them, has been great for our relationships.
What is bringing the most light and happiness into your life right now?
There are so many things; I have a little sister who I adore. She is so sweet, loving and smart, she shocks me constantly. She’s in Texas; she’s writing a book. She send me updates, but she is so incredibly talented and such a great writer and whenever I read a new chapter I am astounded. I also go on hikes all of the time; I just went to Joshua Tree a few weeks ago. I get in touch with nature and that helps keep me sane and happy; plus, I play music and dance around all of the time. I feel very lucky that in the midst of all of this, I get to have a dream come true and I am on cloud nine right now.
